STEVEN’S WISH LIST Will we ever see a US release of these impossible-to-find productions?

The Derek Jarman movie Sebastiane is on DVD...but what about the 1984 French TV production Le Martyre de Saint Sébastien (The Martyrdom of St. Sebastian) starring Nicholas Clay as the Emperor and Michael Biehn (shown here) in the title role? You’ll find a detailed synopsis and lots of screen caps here. If you know of any DVD release or TV broadcast, please let Steven know!

In 1971, director Roberto Rossellini (Isabella’s father) dramatized the last days of the Greek philosopher Socrates for Italian TV, with Jean Sylvère in the title role. An Italian region 2 PAL DVD (with English subtitles) was available for a while, but now seems to be out of print. If you know of any available DVD or TV broadcast, please let Steven know!

The Battle for Rome (first shown in the UK in 2006 as Ancient Rome: Rise & Fall of an Empire) turns up occasionally on US cable channels...but where is the US DVD? Each episode dramatizes the life of a key figure in Roman history (Tiberius Gracchus, Julius Caesar, Nero, Vespasian, Constantine, and Alaric the Visigoth). Click here to read Lindsey Davis’s tart review for the Sunday Times, “All Tantrums and Togas.” If you know of a US DVD release, please let Steven know!

The 1956 Italian comedy Mio figlio Nerone finds the superstar emperor (Alberto Sordi) taking a holiday at at the seaside, rehearsing a big new show while fending off his nagging mother Agrippina (Gloria Swanson), the gorgeous Poppea (Brigitte Bardot), the wise Seneca (Vittorio De Sica), and numerous attempts to do him in. English language releases carried various titles, including Nero’s Mistress, Nero’s Weekend, and O.K. Nero. If you know of an English-language DVD release or TV broadcast, please let Steven know!

The 1982 French comedy Deux heures moins le quart avant Jésus-Christ (Quarter to Two Before Jesus Christ) told the not-so-epic tale of Marcel Ben-Hur (Coluche), a chariot driver in North Africa. When Caesar (Michel Serrault of La Cage aux Folles, shown here) arrives on imperial vacation, a revolt breaks out, and the people choose Marcel as the charismatic leader who will usher in a new era…at a quarter to two, B.C. If you know of an English-language DVD release or TV broadcast, please let Steven know!

The 1935 epic Scipio Africanus: The Defeat of Hannibal was Fascist Italy’s answer to the Nazi’s Triumph of the Will, a huge patriotic spectacle with rampaging elephants and a cast of thousands. It’s available on DVD. But what about1971’s Scipione detto anche l’africano (Scipio, Also Known as the African)? That movie struck a more ironic tone, with Marcello Mastroianni as the savior of his country facing political destruction at the hands of the scheming war-monger Cato (Vittorio Gassman). If you know of an English-language DVD release or TV broadcast, please let Steven know!

The legendary 1968 European TV mini-series L’Odissea (The Odyssey) starred Bekim Fehmiu (Yugoslavia’s answer to Jean-Louis Trintignant), Irene Pappas, Samson Burke, and Barbara Bach. (Read the rave reviews at imdb.) It’s available on DVD in Germany (as Die Odyssee). If you know of a US DVD release or TV broadcast, please let Steven know!

A few years after L’Odissea, director Franco Rossi made the mini-series Eneide, aka Le Avventure di Enea (1971), which was broadcast on Italian television and perhaps also released in a threatrical version. The movie is based on Virgil’s epic poem The Aeneid, about the flight of the warrior Aeneas from Troy, his tragic love affair with Queen Dido of Carthage, and the legendary origins of Rome. If you know of any DVD release or TV broadcast, please let Steven know!

The Queen of the Nile went anime in the 1970 Japanese release Kureopatora. The treatment was adults-only (hence the US release title, Cleopatra: Queen of Sex) with grotesque comedy and dazzling art-world references in the mix. You can see a gallery of images from the movie here. A German DVD is available, but according to IMDb, “The subtitled version of this film that has been released in English speaking countries is said to be lost. Please check your attic.” If you know of a US DVD release or TV broadcast, please let Steven know!

In 1963, the BBC presented Shakespeare’s three Roman plays (“Coriolanus,” “Julius Caesar,” and “Antony and Cleopatra”) as a nine-part series called The Spread of the Eagle, presented in historical order and staged on a lavish budget. You can read more about the series at BFI. If you know of any DVD release or TV broadcast, please let Steven know!

Between 1967 and 1980, Romania produced three massive epics set in ancient Dacia, the eastern province of the Roman Empire on the Danube: Burebista, about the great Dacian king in the time of Julius Caesar; Dacii (The Dacians), about Domitian’s war to conquer the kingdom; and Columna (Trajan’s Column, aka The Tyrant), another war saga in which virtually the entire Romanian army was outfitted in ancient costume for huge battle scenes. Dacii is available on Region 2 DVD in Romania (with English subtitles); copies can sometimes be found at eBay (beware of bootlegs). If you have information about the availability of any of these films, please let Steven know!

The 1983 BBC miniseries The Cleopatras recounted the multi-generational saga of the Ptolemy dynasty that ruled Egypt from the death of Alexander the Great to the death of the final and most famous Queen Cleopatra. Intended to be a follow-up to the huge international success of I, Claudius, the 10-hour series fizzled with critics and hasn’t resurfaced since...but Steven is curious. More info here. If you know of any DVD release or TV broadcast, please let Steven know!

The comedy series Chelmsford 123, about a Roman governor’s travails in ancient Britain, circa 123 AD, was first broadcast in 1988, with 13 episodes in all. If you know of any DVD release or TV broadcast, please let Steven know!

Two years after making an indelible impression playing Augustus’s wife Livia in I, Claudius, Siân Phillips played another larger-than-life woman of the ancient word — Boudicca of the Iceni in the British TV series Warrior Queen (1978). If you know of any DVD release or TV broadcast, please let Steven know!

Eight years before the BBC’s legendary I, Claudius, there was The Caesars, a six-part, black & white TV series broadcast in the UK in1968. The story covers pretty much the same territory, from the reign of Augustus to the ascension of Claudius. The Caesars is available in the UK on DVD; if you know of a US DVD release, please let Steven know!

The comic book adventures of Alix, a Gallo-Roman youth of the late Roman Republic, have been popular in France and Belgium since the 1940s. (No US publisher has ever brought them out.) In 1999, 26 episodes of the animated TV series Alix appeared in France. If you know of any DVD release or TV broadcast (or any English-language publication of the Alix books), please let Steven know!

The Nelvana animated TV series Mythic Warriors: Guardians of the Legend was first broadcast on Saturday mornings on CBS from 1998 to 2000. Each of the 26 episodes retold a tale from Greek myth. Shown here is artwork from a Korean DVD. If you know of a US DVD release or TV broadcast, please let Steven know!

The animated adventures of Les Fils de Rome (The Sons of Rome), set in the reign of Trajan, debuted on French TV in 2000, featuring heroic Sirius, his sister Liana, the herculean Pharaoh, and blundering Marco (a master of disguise). If you know of any DVD release or TV broadcast, please let Steven know!

The 1935 German musical comedy Amphitryon was set in ancient Greece and loosely based on the play by Plautus. (Mercury wears roller skates!) Under Nazi censorship, Jewish director Reinhold Schünzl still managed to parody German militarism, using SS men as Theban extras. (Schünzl later fled the country.) If you know of a US DVD release or TV broadcast, please let Steven know!

A creepy old guy surrounded by beautiful babes — there’s the formula for a certain type of vintage British comedy, in this case the BBC series Up Pompeii! starring Frankie Howerd, which ended back in 1991. Terrible puns and the double-entrendres run rampant as the wily slave Lurcio mocks his masters and mistresses in the family of Ludicrous Sextus. Was it ever shown in the US? If you know of a US DVD release or TV broadcast, please let Steven know!